Americans Love Fairness

Yes, Americans love fairness.  But is our government being fair?  Let us take a look.  Imagine a lavish party attended by 100 folks, you know, just an average sampling of folks, many just like you and me.  When I say lavish, this party has no bounds.  Why not, it's other peoples money!  The question is, who pays the piper?

The attendees have been told not to worry over the cost.  After the last slice of roast pig, the few remaining drops of sparkling wine and the still sweet taste of Crème Brûlée lingering on the tongue, the ten thousand dollar bill is presented to our well fed guests.  A lot of heated argument ensues.  Some are without funds, most have a little, some more and one fellow is filthy rich. 

The waiter, an ex-politician having experience in these matters, comes up with a plan.  He calls it a fair plan.   The top wealthiest 1% (that is the one rich guy) will simply pay 37% of the bill $3,700 since it is no big burden to him.  That still leaves a pretty hefty bill unpaid, and fearing a brawl might erupt, the waiter said, "lets just take the top 10 earners and have them pay 70% of the bill ($7,000 less $3,700 the rich fellow paid) … it’s not like they can’t afford it."  So, each of those 9 are stuck with a $367 bill.  The remaining 90 folks start to feel a little better and the ex-politician waiter is on a roll, so his next move is to suggest that the top 50% of the earners just go ahead and pay 98% of the total bill which would be $9,800. 

The numbers are starting to get a little tricky but the ex-government man gets out his calculator and figures ten guys are already paying $7,000 so that just leaves $2,800 for 40 of the diners of which each would pay $70.  Now these were hard working folks little used to paying that for a meal, but they put up little fuss since what was $70 as compared to the $7,000 the rich guy was paying? 

The waiter felt he was getting very close, but he still had $200 unpaid, so his next move was to suggest that out of the 50 remaining guest that had paid nothing 3 of them (3% of the whole) would divvy up the $200 which resulted in their paying about $66 each.  Now there were 47 VERY happy guest left that paid nothing (47% of the whole). 

Fair?  Let’s review: 1 person pays $70,000, 9 folks pay $357 each, 40 folks pay $70 each, three folks pay $66 each and 47 happy folks pay nothing. 

By the way says the waiter, “I’m running for office next year and that is how I will propose a Bill to divvy up the tax burden.  Except for one small thing, you 47 folks who paid nothing would get a $10 earned gift certificate just for coming here to eat. What do you folks think?” 

The one rich guy, being no fool, sharply responds, ”Propose?  What do you mean propose?  That's the way it is already done.”

And can you believe it, some folks are advocating soaking the rich even more so we can have an even bigger, finer dinner.

Here is the little known secret.  The rich guy owns a a fancy sports shoe factory and a national hamburger chain.  He goes home and immediately calls his accountants and tells them to raise prices by a large margin.  So, who gets soaked in the end?  Those folks buying those shoes and hamburgers.  The piper always gets paid.